


Want to die? You’re not alone

by Iwannabewriterbutimtoolazy



Series: 27 class [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Dark Comedy, Dying is easy living it's harder, Emo, Everyone is Dead, Except when it's not, Frenemies, Gen, How Do I Tag, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I mean, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Depression, Rivalry, Siblings, Swearing, Teen Angst, Teen Logic is the Best Logic, Teenagers, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, They are not complaining, everyone is a mess, it's a mess, kind of, mcr references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 08:38:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15115775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iwannabewriterbutimtoolazy/pseuds/Iwannabewriterbutimtoolazy
Summary: I promise it's not suicide commercial





	Want to die? You’re not alone

Being a teenager is a very difficult job, everyone knows that. You must do stuff like waste your whole life on Tumblr or getting wasted at parties while still being underage. You know, all work and no play. This is why Alex decided to end her path of never-ending suffering. Her first thought was to finally start doing her homework or even go outside, something she hadn’t done in weeks, but there were just some obstacles that she couldn’t overcome. For example, putting actual effort into doing things. She was a big drama queen and simple or even ordinary wasn’t quiet her style. “ _Be yourself”_ she liked to say _“but not too much, you’re a disgusting piece of shit._ ” like the nice girl she was.

Back to the point, as you may probably know, a teen with determination is the unstoppable one. Unable to carry out her initial plan, she made another one. More dramatic but also a lot easier in the long run. Right now, you should be wondering what it was. The author is aware that you aren’t but still. You should. Anyway, her next idea was perfect. Suicide. Not any suicide, of course, it had to be a low-budget one. What? She was a poor college student. Funerals were not only too expensive but also overrated.

What is the best way to escape all this unnecessary crap then? Burry yourself alive (don’t do this at home, kids, after all, what use would gardens be?). Cheap, fast, unpopular and the most important part, something that Alex was going to do. This specific activity required coming out of the house (not the closet) but it was the last time so she had to bear with it.

After a whole brief moment of analysing where to spend the rest of eternity, she made a very classic choice - the cemetery. Not to mention that it was only a ten-minute walk away. She waited until midnight (the time when all suspicious activity starts), grabbed a shovel, put on a black hoodie to complete her totally badass, scary look, and began her final journey.

“It’s about to go down, Motherfuckers!” she thought when she dug the shovel in surprisingly fresh ground. “I’m not going to complain about less physical work to do” she announced to no one (except for the poor, lost people who for some reasons are reading this) while she was progressively increasing the hole for her soon-to-be corpse.

A few seconds later, Alex was out of strength (lack of participation in P.E always rears its ugly head in the most weird situations). She stepped into her self-created pit of death, politely said “Goodbye, twats. I’m so glad that this shit is finally over.” to the ugly, uncaring world, ready to rest in peace. Or so she wanted to. Instead, things got a _little_ complicated. As an alternative to the silent and, oh, so tragic scene, she was startled by a loud yell. Right under her feet. To move along with the plot, Alex made a quick choice to check out the source of noise.

Almost immediately, she discovered somebody’s face.

“People are trying to be dead here, can you stop disturbing me?”, as soon as Alex heard that voice she knew who’s face it belonged to.

”I’m not even properly dead and I’m already in hell.”

“Nice to see you Jared.” Now Alex was just really pissed, her arch enemy, the only kid more emo than her in the whole school, was like always, one step ahead of her. His middle name was Gerard for Christ’s sake. How could she beat that?

“I was looking for the shortest way to hell and guess what? I found it.”

“Hi Alex. Your timing is nothing but perfect. Only two minutes later and you would spare us this meeting. Or me at least. Now my last words aren’t  
a dramatic monologue with My Chemical Romance quotes. Thanks.”

“Hey, I’m not the one who devoted an extra hour to be at this specific cemetery instead of the nearest one” said Alex cursing in her mind at herself why she hadn’t thought of a long speech earlier.

“Are you kidding me? We both know that the cemetery near my home has family graves. I have to buried away from them to isolate myself. If I can’t do that while I’m still alive, so I’ll at least do it in the afterlife. Symbolism is very important.” Jared grimaced. Everybody was forgetting about that fact and didn’t understand him nor his sensitive artistic soul. In this cruel world, there was no place for people like him.

There wasn’t even a place for him in his own grave because before Alex could reply, another unexpected guest fell into it.

“What the hell? How many people can make plans to be in the same fucking hole at the same fucking cemetery at once? Maybe we should call Madison, she’s always bitching about never being invited anywhere.“ Alex wasn’t angry, she was furious. It was supposed to be totally different. Nothing was going according to plan. First Jared, then … someone.

“Cool! I thought that if I practice at night nobody will see how unskilled at skateboarding I am. But now, apparently, I must make an idiot out of myself in front of everybody. I’m gonna die of embarrassment here, literally” said the newest addition to the teen drama-queen club.

“Wait, Jared?”

There is one big problem with Jared. He isn’t the only Jared in the class, he isn’t even the only Jared in his family. He is one half of the infamous Jared twins. As legend goes, their parents couldn’t get a half abortion, so they decided to act like they have only one child. Truth to be told, they were just very bad at naming and very lazy (alike the author). This is why trying to talk to them was harder than it normally would be. Which says something, because all of them were awkward and loved to irritate everyone. It’s probably the reason why they were joined at the hip.

“What?” said two voices in sync. See, always in twos.

“And what are _you_ doing here?” asked Jared #2

“I wanted to be here alone Jared, forever!”, the first sibling was clearly as amused as Alex.

“Jared?… “ (explaining this conversation was starting to be impossible. Naming two characters with the same name was a _very_ bad idea. The author is sorry. Anyways, these two are talking to each other) “Amazing. Now my life is over – even more so. Where is the shovel? I’ll start burying us. All for? Yes, great.”

 _Well_ , thought Alex, _that escalated fast_. Not that she was going to complain.

“I’m not okay.” unlike Jared, it seems.

“What? Shut up, It’s already taking longer than it should.” snapped Alex while wondering why she hadn’t just picked out another spot to die.

 “Famous last words.”

 And then, Alex understood – he was quoting song titles.

” And we’re never coming home.”, she shrieked the actual lyrics while feeling like she was on X-Factor, emo edition.

“Whatever weirdos” said the guy who was sitting with them out of free will.

 

…

 

“Someone know how to do this?” asked Jared awkwardly standing with the shovel not knowing how to actually use it. Instead of help, she offered him her middle finger and a long growl. Saying nothing, she began to pelt them with ground.

 

_The End – Literally._


End file.
